I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
