I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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