make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
