he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
