i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
