Need sex. Gaining weight.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
