I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
