My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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