I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
