I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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