im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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