Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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