stop calling my apartment porn island.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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