There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
