im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
