I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Found the puke drawer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
