Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize