I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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