I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize