It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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