Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
