She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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