he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
