i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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