So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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