At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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