Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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