I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
