god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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