Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help