Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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