proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra