She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
