white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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