By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Panties = found
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