Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
porn star boner night. come get it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
