like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize