so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
