you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
