So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
