How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
