She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
