Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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