sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
All I want is dick and wine.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
