i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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