You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
