Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I fill condoms, not promises.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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