Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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