I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
