I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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