god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life