i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
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Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
