That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
