I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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