Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
