does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
