I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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