i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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