That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
