does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
