dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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