i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
