She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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