walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.