i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
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Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother